Happy New Year 2015!! May all your wishes both material and spiritual come true.
Wowee! Can you believe just how quickly 2014 came and poof!....it's gone?
I almost feel as though I've reached the summit of a hill and now I'm rolling down faster and faster. My only consolation is that we are all in this together! Sometimes I think....I can't believe that I'm 56 years old! I've been living in this body for 56 Winters....56 Summers....56 Sping times...and my all time favorite time of year 56 Autumns!!! Perhaps I like the Autumn season the best because I am in the Autumn season of my life.
I'm not thrilled with the aging process...the skin getting a little loose...especially under the chin and underarms. Yet...forget the body for a moment and I feel for the first time in my life that I like myself. This past year I've made so much peace with myself. I used to think that I was weird because I didn't want to be surrounded by stuff. As a creative person I felt that I should want to be surrounded by colour...by odd things...by people.....I should want to travel to find inspiration....that I should be happy all of the time...that I should let go of my past....
The French have a saying,"Tu a le droit!" ....You have the right!
This year I've given myself the right to acknowledge that I had a shitty childhood. That having being ripped away from my family and culture as a four year old and placed into an physically and sexually abusive home was devastating.
Running away from the pain is exhausting!
Now I say, " I had the right to feel the terrible pain of loneliness,betrayal and gut wrenching fear!"
....but......now....I'm OK.........I survived......dented perhaps....bent but not broken......
I'm wabi-sabi......imperfect....impermanent and unfinished....
I'm looking forward to a great year of discovering new realizations, new friends and new adventures.
I hope that you also can find a little more peace and happiness in this New Year of 2015.
Until next time,