Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Am I A Cow.....moo?

In my many years of  hanging out with people who believe in reincarnation I find that we spend way to much energy fantasizing about what we or others will be in the next life. We often say things like....Colonel  Sanders of KFC looks like a chicken because he killed so many chickens..therefore he's going to come back as a chicken..or that guy looks and acts like a pig...I think that he's going to be a pig ! To ourselves in our own minds we can be very generous...maybe I'm a cow in Vrindavan? Should I start practicing my moos.......moo!....moooo?...MOOOOOO!!! Got it!...Naw...I'm going to be a gopi or gopa? Perhaps a blade of grass because I'm just so humble!
In my not so humble opinion I think that it's all a grand 'ol waste of time because where us" simple livers" need to be is right here ...right now..not in the past and not in the future. Now is all we have but to be "in the now" we need to know who we are. I'm not talking about the big picture...who we are as a spirit soul...just the small what do we do in our day to day lives...are we Once we figure out what we do...then we can get rid of the things that aren't of any use to us. For instance if you hate working out but feel that you "should" be hitting the gym you might end up buying tons of running shoes and expensive workout gear. All that happens is you end up feeling guilty every time you see those running shoes, guilty for not working out and guilty for spending tons of money on clothes you don't use. If working out isn't part of your lifestyle and you only use those running shoes  to walk to the store then what  you need instead is walking shoes. Your real self might actually be an accountant who just likes to walk to work and take the stairs instead of the elevator.Nothing wrong with that. You just need to accept who you really are and not some false and often outdated perception of who you think you "should"be. Right?  I mean just look at this one many changes have we been though already?
Our bodies have changed from babies to youth and now old age. Not only have our bodies changed but our perceptions about how we see ourselves and how we want the world to view us also changes....for instance...I always wanted to be viewed as an athelete. I started this belief when I was a I signed up for the girls hockey team. I was pathetic! Those hay bale tossing farm girls bounced me off the boards like I was a ping pong ball. I spent more time cleaning the ice with my butt than I spent on my skates. Did I give up? Nope! I signed up for the volleyball team...and warmed the bench! I played baseball...but I run like a girl and there was no way that I was going to slide to third and risk deforming my knee! When I signed up for the basketball try outs the coach finally told me...kindly but firmly..." No"! I was devastated! I sulked and cried for days! After I got over my funk I concluded that...alright so I suck at tall for gymnastics...cheerleaders make me want to smack them aside the head...I can't dance or play an instrument! I'm going into fashion! You can't imagin how much money I spent on clothes. How many waking hours thinking of clothes..making clothes. How many completely insane fashion choices I've made.....eastern fashion...western's been an all consuming passion! Yet...everytime I would go to the mall or saree mela and buy this huge haul of stuff I would feel depressed .
 One day not so very long ago I decided to face my addiction. I designed a clothing rack big enough so that I could hang most of my seasons wardrobe on it. I wanted to see what I was REALLY wearing.( I also had a huge walk-in closet full of shoes..bags..jewellery ..scarves..belts etc). Every night before I fell asleep I would see those clothes and every morning I would wake up to again see those darned clothes. To make a long story short...I finally wittled those clothes down  to what I actually wear for my real life on the farm , my one day selling soap at the market and one occassional festival and that is only 10-15 pieces. I then bagged everything else up and either gave it away or  stored it in the shed...until I can be 100% certain that I won't need them .If I don't wear them in another 4 weeks they will  be donated to charity. What I discovered under the piles of stuff was a minimalist. My home,clothing and life have now become streamlined and simple.
 Now I can walk into a shop and like things but don't feel the need to hoard. We can call it "A Collection" or I am a collector!..but really if it has no purpose except to take up's's a fallible soldier...a prop...something to prop up a false identity. Get rid of it...move it along to someone who might actually need and use it.  I'm no longer buying stuff to fill an emptiness.I've made room to be the person I've always wanted to be.....and that is simply empowering. Hare Krsna ~Kokum Lal

'm a cow in Bottom line is's just a game...pure speculation...and kind of mean.

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