Monday, 30 July 2012

Heart Failure (Lite) and Tomatoes

I don't want to make this sound to dramatic because the episode was rather weird but extremely painful. I know that I have had a weak heart for most of my life and completely ignored the little problem until 9 years ago when I was placed on Beta Blockers.....which I promptly flushed down the toilet!
I'm not completely irresponsible with my health. I do believe without a doubt that I would not be in this particular body today had I not had to intelligence to listen to my body sending me very strong signals at a very young age . It was shouting at me...don't drink coffee...don't smoke....don't drink alcohol...don't eat meat....don't smoke marijuana!!! Total bummer....I had to give up my party girl lifestyle. I then decided to find a spiritual path that worked for me because I seriously needed some self after doing much research...I moved into a Hare Krsna Ashram.
Anyways 9 years ago...I worked on getting my heart back in order and thought that all was well....until a few days ago. I was sweeping the floor and chatting to our farm helper and my husband. I started feeling this incredible pain building in my shoulder...but ignored it and continued to sweep the floor with one hand. Within 30 seconds the pain was so excruciating that I flopped down on my bed...where I stayed for a good 3 hours. Although the pain was slowly reducing I decided to phone Dr. Lin to let him know that I was still having a difficult time breathing. He is so kind that he was going to jump into his car and come to see me but since I was moving ...although not my arm...I went to see him instead. He immediately took care of  the pain using acupuncture , energy waves and physical manipulation. Dr. Lin realized that the pain was from my heart and performed some very painful heart massage. He did not have the medicine at his home but would have to get it from the Monks. I was also needing to use Chinese wine with the medicine. Of course I was having a mental battle with this due to the fact that I have followed my vows of no intoxication for 38 years. After much inner reflection I came to the conclusion that this was medicine and not sense gratification so I agreed to take it.
Dr. Lin came over to my home to show me how to prepare the herbs. In payment we exchanged medicine for my Om-made soap and medicinal plants from my garden:)
It took just 1 hour for the medicine to do it's magic. My breathing came back...better than normal and all the residual pain vanished. Yay!!
I felt so good that I spent the rest of the day in the greenhouse staking our many tomato plants. While I was working I was thinking about my own mortality. I was asking myself questions about my "bucket list".
I spent hours reflecting on my life. Of course I've made many incredible stupid mistakes...mostly in the name of love.....but all in all I found that I'm quite happy with my spiritual progress. I'm very aware that death is my constant companion so I've tried to take care of my emotional baggage. If I've hurt someone I attempt to make amends as quickly as possible. I've even gone so far as to look up old boyfriends who I dumped very harshly and apologized. That was very difficult because sometimes the old boyfriends use this opportunity to try and hurt you back. Oh well...I'm pretty sure that I deserved the verbal no offense taken.
I've traveled a lot....I've lived in beautiful places...especially in my beloved Rocky Mountains. I've had the best friends..the very best family...the best spiritual master...and although my marriage was very last we have become the best of friends. I really would not want to be anywhere else..doing anything else with anyone else. I'm perfectly content taking care of my tomatoes and chanting Hare Krsna.
Kokum Lal

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