Simply 55

Dear Reader;

  Today I turned 55 years old. 55....55....55.....I've being saying that number from the moment I woke up this morning. For me turning 50 was a big one and now 55 is another big number. I'm alright  because for the first time in my life I'm feeling ok about being me. I feel as though the youthful angst is gone...pooooooffff...not overnight...but over the past couple of years. I don't feel so concerned about peoples opinions of me or if they "like" me or not. I'm not feeling so angry about the world....even though there is so much to be angry about. The more that I minimize my life in all aspects..the more I feel in control. No need for frustration...so no need for tantrums. I'm not saying that I don't experience that flash of anger...I just don't feel the need to throw stuff around and swear like a sailor anymore. I've gotten to that place where I can say..."No" and "I don't care."

 For so many years I thought that I was that person that everyone said that I was....."The Artist"...spaced out ....starving...emotional...creative...artist! I am a creative person and I can do some drawing and painting but I never felt passionate about art. In my mind I felt like a "pathetic artist". I like my world to be neat and tidy but an artist requires a lot of "things" around for inspiration. I would decorate with sarees and "stuff" only to take it down and feel like I was trying to live two lives.On the other hand my husband creates art in everything he does....building houses or tiling floors or gardening. He is the artist!

 A week ago I came across this video on Youtube and a big part of the jigsaw puzzle of my journey to simplicity fell into place. I am by nature an organized person...a counter clockwise left brain person. There is no right or wrong with either being a right or left brained person. After understanding that my husband is a right brained person and I'm the complete opposite ...peace...came over our home. Nothing changed....yet...everything changed because now I understand that his leaving his stuff everywhere is "normal" for him.He is not purposely sabotaging my clean house. He is not being an irresponsible child...it is just not one of his priorities. His not ever washing the vehicles is fine for him but not for me. He doesn't cut grass but I do. I've always found fault with his habits but now I feel at peace  because I actually enjoy "cleaning and organizing". We make a "perfect" couple because he is always creating things and I set the boundaries and help him to keep the place and projects in order. This realization has allowed me to let go of so many more "things' that fit with my "I'm an artist persona".

 Here's that video.

Hare Krsna.
Kokum Lal